The Kōwaewae process
As your Kaiwhakatere (navigator) I will guide you through the Kōwaewae process to assist you through your separation.
Phase One
Manu
Just like at the start of your separation, when setting out on an ocean journey, it can seem overwhelming with no clear direction on where to go. The crew of the vessel look towards the kaiwhakatere for guidance. Looking to the sky, the kaiwhakatere uses the birds (manu) to indicate the way towards the land.
Phase Two
Waka
As the separation journey continues, the waka (canoe) symbolises a new beginning as you move from your old into your new life. You will still encounter storms and challenges, but the kaiwhakatere’s role is to prepare you for what will be coming, and guide you towards the destination.
Phase Three
Toko
Toko are poles that surround a sacred place, and it also describes the process of separation and divorce. These sacred places (tūāhu) were built to commemorate the arrival after a challenging journey. These are the new foundation of your life - drawing on what the journey has taught you, as well as your new goals. The kaiwhakatere is still there to advise and assist you in planning for the future.